13 years is a long time. A child can become a woman, a man may re-find love.
I cannot stop speeding trains, nor leap to untold heights, but it would seem that I am capable of living long enough to have something precious return to my life and in its happening, move me to my core.
The phone rang, and naturally enough, I answered. At first I thought it was a student, but no, it was someone much closer; much, much closer, and we hadn't spoken for thirteen years.
She called me. I was thrilled. I was amazed. I was so very thankful.
We spoke for a few moments and agreed to meet for a coffee – and we did. I tried not to cry when I saw her but I think she saw through me. I tried not to repeat myself, but I did. I told all my stories, mostly poorly and without structure. I rambled aimlessly with little direction and only the dimmest glimmer of adventure. I listened very carefully, hanging on to her words and hints and eye-movement and nuance. I tried not to be so old and tried harder to seem wiser than I might ever have seemed in the past. I tried to be kind and better than I have ever been. I tried not to show how thrilled I was that she was sitting across from me and that we were together again.
I had been waiting for so long for this thing to happen that I could barely, just barely contain myself. I was giddy with delight and as nervous as a schoolboy. Amazed that maybe, just maybe there was a chance to reconnect with who she had become.
And what a wonderful thing she has become! All that I might have imagined, all that I might have hoped for, all that the world needs. She is a woman now. Capable and strong, curious and determined – self aware, considered and kind. Educated and traveled. Loved and lost a little too. Complete, to a degree, and whole, with allowance, considered, well versed and passionate. Things mattered to her and she took those things to heart. She wore them proudly and spoke of her convictions with resolution when she could.
I am thrilled beyond belief that this wonderful thing has happened to me. I am thrilled that she called. I am overjoyed that we might have some kind of relationship again. I am proud of her. I marvel at her strength, her kindness and above all her courage.
Every single female friend that I shared this story with said that I absolutely must wait for her to make any further motion. That I must not 'push', that I must allow her to make whatever decisions she needs to make with regard to how we might proceed. Forward or not, with or without, more, or sadly, less. I will wait, and I will trust that we we will move forward, that this delightful event wasn't a one time thing. I hope that we can move from here to, well, wherever tomorrow may lead us. Thirteen years is a long time to wait to hear the words: ” Hi Rob, it's Amy.”